Salve tutti!

Today is another foggy day, but I think that the sun is trying to break through. I have been getting very annoyed. Not with the wash, the phone line, and other nonsense like that. The one thing that is really getting to me is the "friend" situation. I have many friends, but non are in Padova. I have been trying to be friendly, but no one has made the initiative on their part (only a few have.) Some of the people I met have been very secluded, and kind of cold.

I know I said this many times before, but I am feeling very lonely and my family and friends (the one's have back home) have told me it's completely normal (normale.) But, the feeling of isolation truly hurts.
To be honest, I hate eating alone and going out for an aperitivo da solo (alone.) I feel awkward, and I haven't had a decent conversation with someone for over 2 weeks. Coming out of college and university setting where I surrounded by friends was one thing. But being thrown into a different situation (please keep in mind that I choose to come to Italy and live and work... this was my decision) is taking me a much longer time to digest and make friends. I have tried, just not many have really tried on their part.

I have what it takes to become someone, and make friends. My family has given me a great gift and I can handle a lot things that are thrown my way. Maybe in the beginning it was hard, but I eventually got through it. However, this friend thing has really drained me. I know that once I begin work, I will be around other people constantly and be making friends. But I am just finding it hard, because I have been introduced to some people already, and I when try to meet up with them they tend not to answer me... Maybe I am over exaggerating or just letting my emotions really flow, but I am really feeling lonely.

Right now the perfect song to describe my emotion is "Slow Motion" Not the rap song, but the rather emotional/uplifting song... It seems that everything is moving too slowly for me, and I feel at this given point in time it captures my true emotion.

Being in another country it is hard to communicate with my good friends as I can't really call them up. So Facebook, email and this blog helps... but only so much. It is an outlet which allows me to communicate my true feelings without loosing it. I find it easier to write my feelings then explaining them to others because I am a very very emotional person (if you haven't already noticed.)

Despite my changing attitude from day to day, this post is probably the one that explains most of my problems at the moment. Not knowing anyone really hurts. I know that it is normal and everyone goes through this. When there is a language barrier it becomes harder. Even though I speak Italian, people know I am a foreigner when I open my mouth...It has not been easy to make friends here. I am not saying they are unfriendly in Italy... Everyone is very nice and welcoming here.

To be completely honest, I am lonely, and I hate this feeling. It feels depressing and weird. But in way everyone goes through it, at times of death, separation and divorce, and even living alone. It's something we all go through, but for some reason I have had the most difficult time dealing with it.